you're my favorite distraction
by splendidlyimperfect
Summary: Gray's been in love with Natsu for a long time, and Natsu's bad at feelings. / Sequel to 'one third bad intentions, one third avarice, and one eighth sawdust' and 'rich in love and richest of all'


Natsu was already face-first in the alley behind the alehouse before he realized he'd probably had a bit too much to drink.

"Having a little trouble there?"

Gray's voice came from somewhere above Natsu, and Natsu attempted to tell him to fuck off. Instead, he made an unintelligible noise that sounded a bit like _ffffgggnnnf_ and ended up with a mouth full of mud.

"You're a complete twat, you know that, right?" Gray sighed, crouching down next to Natsu, whose shirt was already soaked through with foul-smelling ditch water. "You're lucky I'm here to save you from yourself."

Natsu groaned as Gray hauled him to his feet, wrapping Natsu's arm around his shoulder and guiding him none-too-gently out of the alley. Natsu squinted – the alchemical street lamps were blurs of white light above them, and he could just make out the shapes of carriages on the street.

"You smell like piss," Gray grumbled, setting Natsu down on a bench near one of the streetlamps. He crouched down in front of Natsu, frowning at the wet, red stain on the arm of his shirt.

"Is that blood?" he asked, looking up at Natsu, who blinked at him.

"No?"

Gray sighed, reaching up and unbuttoning Natsu's shirt. "That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question," he said, wincing when he saw the cut across Natsu's bicep. "What the hell happened?"

"I... may have been... uh, sort of... stabbed," Natsu said, looking down at the cut and staring at it with a furrowed brow.

"How in the nine hells did you..." Gray sighed, pulling his bag around to the front and digging through it for a linen bandage. "You're going to get sepsis after that alley water." He tied the bandage quickly around Natsu's arm, looking somewhat satisfied when Natsu grunted in pain.

"Look, I... there was..."

"Oh, shut up," Gray said, running his hands over his face. "You're completely cocked, what the hell were you thinking?"

Natsu frowned, looking down at his hands and trying to remember why it was he'd been drinking so much. There had been a woman, and a story, and something about a—

"Treasure!" Natsu exclaimed, reaching out for Gray. Gray pushed his hand away, making a face.

"We're in a shit town in the middle of fuck-arse nowhere," Gray said, rolling his eyes, "and you're getting bit by the tavern bitch at some drinkery while we're trying to figure out where to start over. There's no treasure here."

"There's you," Natsu said, voice suddenly softening as he leaned in and touched Gray's cheek. A pink flush crept across Gray's face and he ducked his head, staring at the ground.

Natsu stared at him, running his thumb over Gray's cheekbone. He'd been so stupid for so long, and it scared him now, how deep he'd fallen. Gray's eyes were like oceans – deep and dark and terrifying.

"You're tipped," Gray said quietly.

"Mm. A bit," Natsu admitted. "But you're still my favorite thing."

Gray leaned forward and touched his forehead to Natsu's. "Wish you'd talk like this when you're sound," he said. Natsu sighed and ran his fingers through Gray's hair.

"Sorry," he said, and Gray blinked in surprise. "'m not good at... this."

"No, you're not," Gray said, a small smile creeping across his face.

"Hey, that's..." Natsu squinted at Gray, looking slightly put-out. "That's... it's not very nice to say it. To your..."

"To my what?" Gray asked. He looked almost afraid, and Natsu made a frustrated sound.

"Your... person."

"Person." Gray raised an eyebrow at Natsu. "Wonderful. Good to know we've got such a strong bond."

"That's not... not what I meant," Natsu insisted, rubbing his face. The cool wind was starting to help clear his head, but everything was still a bit fuzzy. "Like a... person I kiss."

A look flashed across Gray's face that confused Natsu, and Gray pulled back a tiny bit – just enough for Natsu to notice, but not enough to dislodge Natsu's fingers from his hair.

"Person you kiss, huh?" Gray's voice was quiet and tinged with uncertainty.

A frustrating confusion settled in Natsu's chest as he gazed at Gray, trying to figure out what he'd said that wasn't quite right. There had been plenty of kissing since they'd fled Magnolia two months ago, and Natsu couldn't get enough of it. The feel of Gray's lips, the way they pressed together, the taste of him against Natsu's tongue...

Natsu felt dizzy just thinking about it.

Gray shook his head, pressing his cheek into Natsu's hand and then standing and looking down the street. A couple was approaching, and as they passed through the street lamps, Natsu recognized Sting and Rogue.

"He's completely soused," Gray said, rubbing his temples. Sting crouched down in front of Natsu, shaking his head and patting Natsu's cheek.

"You're a complete arsehole, you know that, right?" Sting's voice was gentle, but Natsu could sense genuine disappointment behind his words.

"I'm... sorry?" Natsu said, looking up at Gray. Rogue had a hand on his shoulder, and Natsu was dismayed to see that Gray's face was drawn and his eyes were wet and downcast. "I don't know... what did I do?"

Sting sighed, putting an arm under Natsu's shoulders and helping him to his feet.

"Let's get you straightened out," he said, starting off down the street toward their rooming house. "You two can work it out in the morning."

* * *

When Natsu woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find that his head didn't hurt.

"Sting gave you something from the alchemist."

Natsu rolled over to see Gray sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. His eyes were sad, and Natsu frowned as he pushed himself up against the pile of pillows lining the headboard of the bed.

"Wanna tell me what in Mavis' name you were thinking?" Gray asked.

Natsu rubbed his face, looking around the room. It was mid-morning, and a soft light was streaming through the open window behind Gray. There was a tray at the end of the bed with wine and fresh pears and almond rolls.

"I didn't mean to get soused," Natsu said, reaching out and grabbing one of the rolls. It was still warm, and he sighed happily as he chewed it. "Or stabbed. There was a woman there, ship's captain from Hargeon – the port town, remember?" Gray nodded. "She was a bit tipped and started telling stories about a vault. Supposed to be uncrackable."

Gray perked up a bit at that, but his gaze on Natsu was still wary.

"So I bought a few rounds for the crew and got her talking, and I got… carried away. And then she, uh… well, I said something that set her off, and she stuck me with her blade and tossed me out the door on my face." Natsu looked sheepish.

Gray sighed, shifting onto the bed and crossing his legs under him. He looked tired, and Natsu's chest ached in a way it never had before.

"I'm sorry," he said, reaching out for Gray's hand. "I didn't mean for you to worry."

Gray shook his head. "'s not that," he said after a moment. "I don't… I'm…" He licked his lips, pulling his hand away from Natsu and rubbing his face. "I've been… stuck on you for a long time. And you…"

He sighed, words catching in his throat as he looked away from Natsu. The morning sun threw a halo of light around his head and Natsu couldn't help but stare. Gray looked beautiful, but his eyes were sad, and it felt like a wound in Natsu's heart. When Gray hurt, Natsu hurt.

The realization hit Natsu like a club to the back of the head, and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Oh," he said softly. Gray wiped at his face, cheeks pink, and Natsu reached out again, working his fingers between Gray's and pulling him close. "Helya's tits, I'm an ass," Natsu murmured, pressing his cheek to Gray's head.

Gray took a shaky breath, wrapping his arms around his legs and leaning against Natsu.

"I… 'your person,' that was stupid, I'm…" Natsu ran his thumb over the back of Gray's hand. "You're so much more than that."

Gray looked uncertainly up at Natsu, and Natsu cupped his cheek, kissing him gently.

"I'm… stupid with feelings," Natsu whispered. "I don't… I don't want to lose you." He swallowed, feeling his own tears start to appear. "You and Erza and Sting and Rogue—you're all I have left. And that's…"

"Terrifying?" Gray said. Natsu nodded and Gray elbowed him, not harshly but enough to make Natsu grumble in discomfort. "You think you're the only one who's scared of losing this? Us? All of us, not just you, but you're…"

Natsu ran a hand over his face, pulling Gray tighter against him and whispering, "I'm sorry, I didn't th—"

"I've lost everyone but this family," Gray said, voice breaking. "Everyone, all of them, they're all—and I'm scared to lose you, but not enough to pretend that I don't lo—" He stopped himself mid-sentence and sighed, pressing his forehead to his knees.

Natsu was silent for a moment, sorting through the tumult of feelings in his chest. It wasn't just the kissing, he knew that. But saying it out loud…

"You're my best friend," he said softly, pressing his cheek to Gray's hair. "My partner, the one who pulls me back when I'm too far gone… gods, I trust you more than anyone in this life."

Nastu's chest felt tight. He hated saying these things, hated admitting it out loud because if it was out there, it might disappear. If he kept it inside, it would be safe, because nobody would know how much he cared, and the gods wouldn't take Gray away from him.

"You're the best adventure I've ever had," Natsu said softly. It didn't matter that he was scared. Gray needed to hear it. "You make everything worth it, and..."

Gray was crying now, shoulders shaking as he tried to hold it in. Natsu shifted until Gray was between his legs, head resting on Natsu's chest. This was so much more important than all the treasure in the world.

In a voice just soft enough for Gray to hear it, Natsu whispered, "I love you."

Gray relaxed against Natsu, turning on his side and curling up so his head was tucked in the crook of Natsu's neck.

"You mean it?" he asked, fingers running up and down Natsu's arm and tracing the edge of the bandage.

"Thieves' honor," Natsu said, running his fingers through Gray's hair. "I swear on my mother."

Gray snorted. "You don't even know who your mother is."

"Fair point," Natsu said, grinning. "Then I swear on all twelve gods and the Nameless Thirteenth."

A small smile crossed Gray's face as he looked up at Natsu and whispered, "I love you, too," then kissed him.

Natsu pulled Gray closer, breathing him in and tightening his fingers in Gray's hair. Gods, Gray felt good. The taste of sweetwine still clung to his lips, and Natsu drank him in eagerly, pressing Gray down against the pillows as he shifted, straddling Gray's legs.

"You're mine," Natsu murmured, running his hands up Gray's arms and pinning his wrists to the bed. "You make me feel so much."

"Thought feelings were a diversion from the game," Gray teased, but Natsu could still feel a hint of vulnerability behind the words. He leaned back, gazing down into Gray's dark eyes.

"Well, you are pretty hard to look away from," Natsu said, enjoying the pink flush that crept up Gray's cheeks. He wanted to kiss it – kiss Gray everywhere, all the parts of him that Natsu knew by heart, and the pieces he hadn't learned yet. "But you're my favorite distraction."


End file.
